As you might have guessed from Tuesday's post, weird things were happening here at Gromit Knits. Were they related? Was something even worse brewing? Help was needed to answer these questions.
Getting to the bottom of the strange happenings around here required advanced skills in detection. So, I'm afraid that we didn't phone Captain Vegetable, despite his advertisement on our kitchen blackboard. We needed a detective, not a superhero. Besides, the timing of the message's appearance raised our suspicions, could this "hero" actually be our villain?
Luckily there was no shortage of volunteers, both venerable and of recent vintage, to be found on our shelves.
Given the bizarre nature of the clues, we selected the grand master of observation and inductive reasoning. If anyone could get to the bottom of things, it was Sherlock Holmes!
It didn't take long for Mr. Holmes to survey the scene, question the residents and examine the evidence. In a few short minutes he proffered his solution.
"It is immediately obvious that any relationship between the items posted on Gromit's blog is entirely coincidental. We have three occurrences to explain, not one. Given this single fundamental insight, the problems are ridiculously simple."
The Case of the Knitting in the Bin
"Elementary, my dear Wallace! Can you not see from Gromit's covered eyes and slumped demeanor we are merely dealing with a case of knitterly despair? My immediate suspicions were confirmed by Martin's recounting of events on Monday evening."
"He was in his study, working on the computer when he heard feral cries from the next room. Fearing Gromit was under attack, he rushed in to help. He was astonished to discover no bodily harm had been inflicted, but that Gromit was muttering incoherently while hunched over a piece of shiny maroon fabric. The only words** he could make out in the stream of keening were: lace, edge stitch, seventeen and frog."
"Martin doesn't knit, but he did observe that the knitting needle was not in its usual position at the top of the work, but was thread through the fabric some rows below. The stitches dangling free seemed to belong to different rows, and long strands of yarn were looped everywhere. He tried to engage Gromit in rational conversation, but was only rewarded with snarls. Despite knowing that Gromit's vaccines were up-to-date, Martin began to suspect the possibility of rabies."
"Have you discovered the source of our problem? Quite simple really, Gromit dropped an edge stitch on the lace wrap project for Emily's school auction. Most knitters would agree, trying to pick up stitches at the end of a row is virtually impossible. It is also a dangerous exercise to frog a piece of knitting done in a lace pattern, a slinky yarn, and with beads embedded into slip 2, knit 1, p2sso decreases at various intervals."
"Gromit threw the thing into the waste bin in disgust! When confronted, a full confession was made."
"Luckily, Gromit rethought this radical action, if only because of the foolish promise to the school auction committee. As you can see it was retrieved and the 17 lost rows have been re-knitted."
The Case of the Toasted Times
Holmes: "I believe that you can solve this yourself Wallace. What was the weather like Monday and Tuesday of this week? Rainy, was it not?"
Wallace: "Why yes, so it was."
Holmes: "How many bags are used to wrap the NYT?"
Wallace: "One."
Holmes: "Then it is entirely possible that the paper was soaked through?"
Wallace: "Oh, absolutely!"
Holmes: "Why don't you examine the microwave and tell me what you see."
Wallace: "It looks quite dirty."
Holmes: "As I expected. Upon discovering that the paper was once again delivered wet, Gromit placed it in the microwave to dry it out. Based on the amount of time required to dry Monday's paper, Gromit overestimated the amount of time needed--Monday's weather was far soggier than Tuesday. The consequence was an overdone and rather smelly bit of newsprint."
The Case of Captain Vegetable
"This is a bit more of a puzzle. Martin revealed to me that this bit of creativity was a gift from a talented and charming after-school child minder!"
With these sage insights, the gloomy and threatening mood cleared. Holmes was re-shelved with appropriate thanks. Wallace went back to inventing and Gromit to knitting on the endless wrap.
**Gromit is only non-verbal on film, in daily life Gromit is normally a very chatty sort.
You crack me up.
Posted by: Hope | March 31, 2005 at 02:23 PM
What a hoot! =)
Posted by: ~drew~ | March 31, 2005 at 08:40 PM
Very cool! Thanks for letting me see the shawl in progress. Looks terrific and I'd not thought of doing it in a ribbon or with beads!
It's facinating to see your creative interpretation of my design.
I'd love to see a real close up if you can send me a picture.
Posted by: Lynda | April 02, 2005 at 07:15 AM
How does Grommit knit without opposable thumbs? I would like to knit too! Maybe next time mommy is knitting instead of falling asleep in her lap I should stay awake and watch her.
i'm glad things are back to normal for you. Captain Vegetable sounds a little scary watch out!
Posted by: Minou | April 03, 2005 at 01:02 AM